Antsy Anticipations

This year seems to have started with a lot of promises for things to unfold. Marren & I are expecting our precious treasure, Aria, in just 11 more weeks! There is a possibility that we will not only have Arora more often, but we may (depending on what God decides) have custody. How like God to use our circumstances to teach us individually what He is also teaching us corporately! Our church is focusing on deepening intimacy & refreshment with our awesome God, so that we are able to establish wells in the "valley of Baca" (weeping)

~PSALM 84~
"How lovely is your dwelling place,
O LORD Almighty!
My soul yearns, even faints,
for the courts of the LORD;
my heart and my flesh cry out
for the living God.
Even the sparrow has found a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may have her young—
a place near your altar,
O LORD Almighty, my King and my God.
Blessed are those who dwell in your house;
they are ever praising you.
Selah
Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.
As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
they make it a place of springs;
the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
They go from strength to strength,
till each appears before God in Zion.
Hear my prayer, O LORD God Almighty;
listen to me, O God of Jacob.
Selah
Look upon our shield, O God;
look with favor on your anointed one.
Better is one day in your courts
than a thousand elsewhere;
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of the wicked.
For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
the LORD bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless. O LORD Almighty,
blessed is the man who trusts in you."

How do you make a place of weeping a place of refreshment? Don't waste the pain. If God has entrusted you with weeping, He has also offers to empower you to not only have His victory, but also to leave a lasting reminder for those that follow after you into that valley, that the Lord is GOOD & that weeping endures for a night, but JOY comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5b). Sometimes in our valleys we loose hope that we will ever see daylight again. We get so focused on the hardship & trial that we loose sight of the fact that GOD IS WORKING. God is challenging us now... will you trust me or will you worry? Will you obey or will you question? Will you choose faith or give into fear?

It's easy for me to have a better "vantage point" when I come out of time spent alone with God... so why don't I do this EVERY DAY??? I was totally convicted this past week about the amount of time I spend ALONE & LISTENING to Him. He is so faithful to speak TRUTH and LIFE into my very soul, to guide my footsteps, to give me rest - if only I will come and drink deeply from Him. So that's what I'm about to do...

New Year, New Family, New Life

I'm wondering if I will ever really feel grown up. When I was younger, I looked forward to being older... 16, 18, 21, 25. Then I just thought it was because I was single - so I looked forward to being married. For sure, then I would feel like I had arrived into adulthood.
Nope.
Now, I am a wife, stepmommy & 7 months pregnant & I still don't feel like I've arrived. It's a good thing that I am learning that feelings are just that... feelings. Your behavior isn't led by your feelings. Neither are your convitions. Your choices had BETTER not be either. Yet is there a point when you actually feel like you are totally prepared for the role you have been given or appointed to?

I look at some people that God used in the Bible & tend to think that I'm probably never going to "arrive" at a place where I'm totally ready. Look at Abram, Moses, Joshua, Joeseph, Gideon, David, Jeremiah, Mary, Peter, James & John & the rest of the disciples, Paul... etc. Seems like God specifically chooses people - and then equips them to do what it is He is calling them to do. He does not find the best qualified and charge them.

As I continue to prepare for the arrival of this precious life that God has entrusted to Marren & me, I take much comfort in knowing that God has never brought his people into a place where HE won't have victory. I just need to remember that I need to choose His victory as well... be like Caleb & Joshua at the entrance of Cannon - sure of my AWESOME God.