I'm wondering if I will ever really feel grown up. When I was younger, I looked forward to being older... 16, 18, 21, 25. Then I just thought it was because I was single - so I looked forward to being married. For sure, then I would feel like I had arrived into adulthood.
Nope.
Now, I am a wife, stepmommy & 7 months pregnant & I still don't feel like I've arrived. It's a good thing that I am learning that feelings are just that... feelings. Your behavior isn't led by your feelings. Neither are your convitions. Your choices had BETTER not be either. Yet is there a point when you actually feel like you are totally prepared for the role you have been given or appointed to?
I look at some people that God used in the Bible & tend to think that I'm probably never going to "arrive" at a place where I'm totally ready. Look at Abram, Moses, Joshua, Joeseph, Gideon, David, Jeremiah, Mary, Peter, James & John & the rest of the disciples, Paul... etc. Seems like God specifically chooses people - and then equips them to do what it is He is calling them to do. He does not find the best qualified and charge them.
As I continue to prepare for the arrival of this precious life that God has entrusted to Marren & me, I take much comfort in knowing that God has never brought his people into a place where HE won't have victory. I just need to remember that I need to choose His victory as well... be like Caleb & Joshua at the entrance of Cannon - sure of my AWESOME God.
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